For another installment of our comedic stories #PoochFlairStoryTime from @PoochDa63, Pooch explains how to tell if your in the “friend zone” with a particular person, and shares his method of getting out of it.
We all hate that friendzone word more than anything but we all have been locked up in it for quite sometime. Wanna find out if you’re in it? And how to escape it? Was I ever in it? I’m gonna give y’all the answers that you need since sway ain’t got em
Well first, the most obvious way to find out you in the friendzone is if she says you’re a really good person. Bitches don’t date good people, shit they barely even reply to their text messages. If she calls you a good person then you gotta draw a line and cross it all in one sequence. Hit her dawg. 0 to 100 nigga real quick. Swell her shit up (but not too much cause if you make her ugly then this is all for nothing).
Being too nice will definitely land you in the friendzone. Females also don’t like nice niggas cause who gonna beat them up when they do wrong? Exactly. Show her how nice you are and enjoy being a gentleman in the friendzone. I’m sure there is cake there for yo gay sweet ass. Be an asshole sometimes. Bitches love chasing assholes, for what reason? Because it gets their vaginas going! Take her out, let her order whatever she likes then tell the waiter “separate checks”. Humble that bitch dawg. She’ll definitely wanna keep fuckin with you if you treat her like shit. If you’ve ever had a conversation with a chick and she started her sentence off with “girl” then she sees you as only as a friend. Abort mission dawg cause there is really nothing there for you anymore unless you wanna stick around and help her pack up her boyfriend clothes when they argue.
Now Lemme explain my friendzone situation.
“You’re such a great person. You make me laugh and feel happy. You’re like a brother”- whatsherbitch. SKKKRRRRRRRTTTTTT! Park the ve..hi..cle…… Like….a…brother?? My friendzone senses were tingling. Bitch you mean to tell me I been transforming into this mystery nigga you been describing just so you could put me in the friendzone? You ever ate clinched fist? Crazy shit going through my mind at this point. It didn’t help that “Stan” by Eminem was playing on the radio and it was on the part where his girl was in the trunk. Where did I go wrong? I didn’t deserve the friendzone. I did everything to not land in it and somehow I was on 4th down and 97 yards to go in order to get out. Being called a brother by a chick you like is the same as calling your pops “dad”. Luckily for me I ain’t got a dad so drastic measures had to be reached. I sent her a dick pic that night. 3 hours went by, no reply. A nigga sweating African bullfrog piss. It was now or never and tonight its all or nothing. What did I do? I did what any other fine young lad would’ve done to escape the friendzone. The only thing left in my bag of tricks. I deleted the bitch number and blocked her on all social networks. What’s the friendzone to a real nigga like me can you please remind me???
-Pooch Flair N*gga